Deer Rabbits

Night before last I had a dream that I was in a darkened apartment My 3 cats where running around chasing something that appeared to be a cat then a rabbit then a small deer. I held it protecting it from the cats who were chasing it for sport. It wanted to stay in my arms and be safe.


later that day on a walk we see a rabbit. two actually. we though it was a small deer 1st...

Black Ice

I saw my younger half sister in my dream last night.

that...[ enter several profane words here]

She stood in a doorway, with a light at her back. She seemed bigger than normal. Fatter. not taller.
She breathed heavily. Seething. Steam. spit and vitriol. I didn't care what she was saying. it didnt matter.  I just needed to get as far away from her as possible.

I moved her and the doorway she stood in from the room to the outside with a wave of my hand.
Instead of standing in front of me she stood a few flights down and outside, Banging at the brownstone door, demanding to be let in. Her green paper gown was no protection from the city winds. Proper attire for a madwoman. The streets seem to taper off at the edges of my eye. As if the other side were just some cardboard stands.


I took every item I owned and loved including my husband and stuffed them { delicately } into a box.
I mailed it off by clapping my hands together . It was sent to maryland, where My older sister lives.

She's much more trust worthy.

I go out the back door alleyway where my car is parked and suddenly I've pulled up to the thrift shop my older sister is in, hundreds of miles away from my home. I'd not even started the ignition yet.

I walk in franticly, thinking she'd consigned my precious things away. but she hadn't. She had my box of everything in her hand. We woman at the counter was giving her a hard time so I offered to resolve the issue and drive her home before the storm came in.

the storm that would precede my paper gowned half sister.

i think the other half of her is demon. or sociopath. perhaps an infection of the soul or brain.


same difference.


as we drove down an unusually long road , the clouds were pierced with long black building sized  icicles.  they staked the road ahead. One after the other like giant nails along a railroad. Lightening spat from the skies. We weaved around them. Suddenly  I was reunited with my husband and we watched as the car bobbed and weaved down the road.

I no longer wanted to be on that journey.

time to wake up.

6 wolves

Strange dreams came last night.
A dream I woke up tired from.

I'm walking through a city that feels like Bed Stuy. Brooklyn if it were placed in the middle of the Mohave desert. The sun was low across the sky and lit all of the windows of old brownstones and apartments over storefronts. The sky was a painful blue. make you feel like squinting.
I was staying with someone I didn't want to stay with. Tho I appreciated their hospitality , the person I saw would only cause me grief. They wondered around as if they were alone.

I'd hoped no one would make eye contact. It was a house that filled gaps. many people came in and left. in particular a tall skinny indian guy with shoulder length hair. His name was hard to remember but i thought  sounded like the name of a star or at least the moon of a planet. I wondered if it were his real name. A DJ i think. Anyway , staying there would drive me crazy. I like personal property and space.

I left, seeking a job at the courthouse. Wondered how many knew their rights as jurors.
I get to the lobby of a circular white building and was taken aback by the level of technology.
The elevators were just machine less vents that whisked people to their desired floor. No waiting no buttons no doors. At the top was the same looking government office. the backs of people's heads who don't want to be there. Signing contracts for 500 dollar fees, but who knew how long a court case was. a stereo typical unhappy federal employee with braids and glasses and too much makeup spat out some monotone instructions with a side of NY accent and I tuned her out for a few minutes. After she pointed to the paper and asked me to sign, i told her I'd have to reconsider as a way out of saying I'll never sign this ever and i hope i never see you again.

I decided against it and left the building.

Back the way I came. the sun now at my back. I notice on my left , a frantic and slightly pale police officer running and falling over himself. He's soon followed by a police car and several  running men. Then armed soldiers not bothering to fire backward and camouflage jeeps marking hard rights from one direction. Then a flash the reddish orange hair of an Orangoutang . they awkwardly run like men in monkey suits . their knuckles flail around. Elephants and fast moving predators start spreading out.

Night comes faster than it should have.

I run into a store front whose door faced the corner instead of the flat side of the street. I was pulled in by my own character. A Shaman, a healer, a female knight of Gnoen. Her bangs sharper than Cleopatras and skin lit by the full moon. All I could make out were lips she kept her eyes on the door.

4 wolves or maybe wolverines walked in. their hair shaggy but some how they were illuminated as if fluorescent from within. their eyes shown an unhealthy weak blue, neon wild and electric.

They scoured around the store as if they were smelling our spirits. In comes a wolf that is lit differently. He's injured and stands on his hind legs. he falls over to the table. The wolves snarl and surround him . One even snaps just short of his neck, which was now very much NOT a canine's neck. But human and nude. The oil slick shoulder length hair looked matted with blood and debris. I knew him to be the man i met earlier from my host's house. I found myself taking a step back. He points an accusatory finger.

THAT WOLF HAS AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH ANTSSSSSSsssss.

he passes out.

No one seems to pay attention to him however. The others in the room with me turn to see the shaman drinking down a beer and slowly turning into a red wolf. As she gulps down the endless gold beverage she starts to urinate like a fountain from her now Fox like legs. the stream starts to bubble and hmm as it almost hits the ground . But it swarms and swells and flies around  and out the window


is that wolf pissing bees?



no more popcorn before bed...

Husdon River Hop scotch

A strange dream last night.
I was , for some reason hired back into the ranks of the company that let me go.
It was the last time i'd worked for a company where i had to check in and clock out.
I could feel the administrators sneaking me by with out the CEO getting wind of it.
I didn't want to be there. But i was asked to come as a personal favor so i came.

The room was sterile, drop ceilings were short, day glow fluorescent lights making you forget what time of day it was. I walked across a larger room into a smaller one. They explained to me I was invited ( or required) to perform on the company boat ride around the New York Hudson River. ( Even tho, it was on the east river)

The boat had already taken off, but for some reason we couldn't go back. Something was wrong. Something was so important that i had to try and make my way to the ship. So we played a dangerous game of Hop scotch from nets to broken boats. These strange pink fish , to whom we 1st thought were sharks were the size of flattened car seats resembling what happens when Flounder eats a strict diet of Cotton Candy and red licorice . They lay in a thick layer just under the surface of the dark water like a scaled blanket. I 1st thought them dead but they were alive, giving themselves as living stepping stones. They opened their green and very human looking eyes , opening and closing their trap jaw mouths communicating in their fishy way that they were offering safe passage across their pepto pink bellies.

You can imagine my hesitation.

I had on Heels and a dress ( of course) , which made it no easier to traverse this watery obstacle course. My short, frazzled fat intern went on ahead first. Offering a hand back once he'd reached solid ground. His glasses barely hung on while his jet black haircut whipped against  his face.

we made it half way but had a very long way to go. I wasn't about to risk my life for something like that. If they left without me, then well...



I'm not sure what it meant but, I don't think i'll be getting on a boat anytime soon...

Tides, Strings and the Horse of the Apocalypse

There Strange dreams this month.

I think I've got a very cartoon brain. Either that or crazy things are happening.

 TIDES

The most recent was a dream i was living near the beach in an apartment with my boyfriend.
We were several stories up. 12th or 13th floor. The ocean brought huge waves and we feared for our lives. We closed the windows and propped them with chairs and furniture. The screen door bayed under the weight of the scrashing waves. We ran downstairs when we hears screams and carried up those who were injured and trapped. One girl in particular, a college student with drk long hair and jogging shorts was trapped in her apartment as she'd not made it to close the windows.

When we'd gone back up stairs i'd noticed one window was open and our entire apartment was ruined with grey sea water.

Sort of ruins those hopes of living on the beach.


________________________________________________

STRINGS

I had a short dream, where i was tied up and in the back of someone's jeep. The driver's seat was on the wrong side and the kidnapper resembled a tatooless Waka Floka , the MC who's rather disgruntled about being named melodic. ::rolls eyes:: anyway he turned around and at that moment light filled the jeep. i lay on the floor bound but not by ropes i can see. There are strings stuck across the sides of the vehicle like a guitar string laced spider web. he says

" Oh, you didn't know you were being watched Doctor Foo?" in a condescending tone?

I kick him in the face with what appears to be a spotted cat leg. Or maybe it was a giraffe. But whatever it was it was my leg and it was an animal.


_____________________________________________

This, was probably the strangest of all.

I was on the bottom floor of an apartment building. There was a middle eastern family. A man with a wide face his tall long haired wife and two children that remembered them so much they looked like time lapse versions of their parents. They huddled at the door way looking for a way to escape. The hallway of the building was olive. Something that reminds you of a lawyer's office. Dark brown trim with a brown bar in the middle.

They tell me the agents are int he building. They offered a hiding place for me but i was there to do something. I couldn't get caught. I had a hoodie, black , fitted and unzipped. my arms were obound with a scratchy potato sack like burlap/ linen and the ropes you'd imagine wine barrels would be bound with. I ran faster than i knew i could in life

I was looking for the President .

I found him on the 3rd floor of the building. There was an empty room with two windows and a single door to the right int he middle of the room. A man was already there. He was attacking the president verbally. Throwing racial slurs and hateful gestures of bigotry.

" You IDIOT" i whispered to myself somehow hidden in the walls.
"He's done terrible things and all you can do is talk about his COLOR? tsk---" i smack my teeth and say hidden. " I'm not here for his life. I'm not here for his ridicule. I'm here to expose him.and you've ruined it. "

He slips through the door and somehow is further away than he aught to be.


The agents notice me. They advance like spooks int he matrix. I put up my hands,

" don't come near me, please." they take that as a pretentious taunt. " i don't want to hurt you"

but its too late, The mask presents it self and my spirit is thrown from my body to the left so i can witness its happenings. The mask is made of bone. Bleach white. I know its some sort of horse but it has spindling teeth like the quoll of a thousand porcupine knitting the air. Inside the mask , is the fabric of the universe. You see nebula and constellations in its jaw.

the teeth start to take the advancing agents arm apart. Atom by atom. I zoom into the electrons being broken the bonds the phi spiral being reversed and brought into the mouth of the mask. It whips back like a wet window shade into my forehead . I'm suddenly back in the body.

Oh god-- i have to get out of here....
 i run up towards to roof to make my escape , taking agent by agent into the black hole in my mouth...

_______


afua

Date and switch

I had a rather peculiar dream last night. I'm almost hesitant to blog it as it includes sexual themes and rather odd and grotesque imagery . Be forewarned.

I was in bed next to my better half. Looking past the hills of his shoulders. We made love as one would in the morning. Sleepy. chuckling. affectionately.

Then my FATHER comes in. I pretended to be asleep as he yelled my nick name out like a basketball coach. When i'd not wake, he got the idea. Turned around and walked out of the room.

Embarrassed, i slunk under the quilts.

Then, as if it couldn't get any worse, my mother comes in. ( both of whom i spoke to at length the day before)

She's on some sot of unseen rolling platform. Taller than she should. Standing 7ft tall and not actually walking but gliding like some horrible queen. Her skin was flayed and decayed, burned and charred like a skinned meat left on a grill entirely too long. Her face resembled baclava , and she was bald and her face sunken and aged.

I didn't hear a word she said. But nothing she ever said in life was ever really worth hearing anyway...

My eyes were focused on her morbid dress.

It was made of human flesh. parted like a princess's gown. In it, a tapestry of maggots and larva writhing and fighting for something...

She remained there longer than i'd have liked. I wished to be someone else. anyone else. I just wanted her NOT to be my mother.

At that point, i switched with my bed fellow.

My shoulders grew, my locked receded a bit, the peach fuzz on my chin grew course and felt manicured, my hands expanded and my hips changed.

The hill of my love's shoulders was slender and his neck narrowed. Locks of hair sprouted , and his stubble withered away.

How cumbersome these shoulders are! I thought. I feel as if my arms are where my hips should be.
my voice was deeper, and yet still mine. My tank top stretched over the smooth muscle now bulbous and firm.

I reached out to my girlfriend and we both silently decided that this was entirely too strange to continue our previous activities. Plus the company became way too....weird.

So i walk out of our bedroom and walk on to the desk of a ship. I sit at a silver table in front of plate that i some how knew was mine, next to a woman i'd known only in the dream. I was flashing back and forth between being a woman and a man. like a shifting hourglass.

my 1st boyfriend is sitting to my right. For the duration of our conversation i am a man. I suppose i chose to not be recognized. He seemed to know me, but only vaguely and when he couldn't recall from where, he decided to get up and dance alone. Even in dreams , he's just as strange as i remember. Not in dancing alone, but in his social exits.

I smiled and chuckled over my foam plate of 4th of July foods. Corn, ribs and some other unidentifyable potato salads. I pushed it around with my fork.

" You okay?" the woman said to my right. She was columbian as i knew her to be. Short black hair, small dark eyes. Pursed pink lips. husky. She seemed to be going through the same ordeal i was.

" Yeah, " i replied " its just funny seeing your ex again.

" what did you say to her?" I felt as if she was assuming i was a gay woman.

" Him..." she looked at me sideways as if gender meant anything now.

then i was awaken by the cat, much in need of tuna. 

family tithes

::Sigh:: 2 dreams --- same night - i had a dream i was loving up on my boyfriend when i hear the alarm system indicate the front  door had been opened. When i get to the living room my entire family showed up. my mother, my father, cousins, siblings cousins and dead ancestors. all in the living room.


i was mortified.. the house was a wreck. 

I woke p n told Camron about the incident - this happened a few nights ago. Yesterday i get a call from my dad.... everyone is coming down for thanks giving......that's not happened....ever. we've never had thanksgiving dinner together...i'm not sure i'm looking forward to that. we'll see if it actually happens.

when i have nightmares - its makes me frightened to dream. i dreamt of being an insignificant artist-- i think it was more of an anxiety dream.... i was a washed up singer and an artist giving out weakly drawn things stapled together with waxy xerox copies....i was also about 45 i the dream.



i immediately got up n started drawing. after i cleaned up the living room