family tithes

::Sigh:: 2 dreams --- same night - i had a dream i was loving up on my boyfriend when i hear the alarm system indicate the front  door had been opened. When i get to the living room my entire family showed up. my mother, my father, cousins, siblings cousins and dead ancestors. all in the living room.


i was mortified.. the house was a wreck. 

I woke p n told Camron about the incident - this happened a few nights ago. Yesterday i get a call from my dad.... everyone is coming down for thanks giving......that's not happened....ever. we've never had thanksgiving dinner together...i'm not sure i'm looking forward to that. we'll see if it actually happens.

when i have nightmares - its makes me frightened to dream. i dreamt of being an insignificant artist-- i think it was more of an anxiety dream.... i was a washed up singer and an artist giving out weakly drawn things stapled together with waxy xerox copies....i was also about 45 i the dream.



i immediately got up n started drawing. after i cleaned up the living room

Odd Dreams last night, My sister and i were in some kind of underground bunker where members of my dad's students were residing. we made peace with the conditions of war outside and found shelter under a school, Tal segmented windows and yellow mustard walls that could have been a pale blue if i wasn't careful to change it in my head.

My father was there, he seemed calm despite the war going on. There was plenty of sunlight to brighten out the bombs  burst and the stone walls of the school made the explosions sound like books falling on the floor in the distance. 

There was a shower, like a Sauna, and my father being the commanding officer , the people in that room treated me with a reverence i wasn't expecting. we took showers in turn and they stood by and guarded even tho we were the only ones there. When i got out i was in a robe and they turned their eyes away or were sure to look me in the face when speaking to me.

 

" do you want to hang out with us? we're going to moundville" they asked it seemed like a night of frat fun that i'm a lil too old for so i politely declined 

" I'm hanging out with my lil sis tonight but next time guys" they gave an understanding smile but i could tell they were disapointed. I'm not sure why a bunch of college kids wold want to hang out with me anyway.  WHen i got out i was full dressed with out having to put anything on. Young nervous soldiers in uniform came over and started asking me comic related questions and with out breaking stride i answered them happily. 

I went into my sister Bunk and she was asleep, and the towels i had i layed the towels that i used over a chair to dry -- for some reason they were filthy , i guess i was harboring a lot of junk that needed washing off. There was a girl in the room. light skinned -- too much make up on her eyes but pretty. early 20's black, long brown hair pulled up in a ponytial that was obviously a weave. 

I leaned down at the foot of Where Emily was sleeping andplants were growing under her bed. Basil, Kudzu, cabbage...it was strange... 

they were growing...

Sever the Head to Spite the feet

I seem to have the most intense dreams when it involves my family.

A few weeks ago i was in a house that was being repaired, walking thru rooms that had walls being gutted and removed like some quick changing video set or movie shoot. I was talking to my dad on an old cellphone telling him i'd found his empty wallet. I knew it was his because of the beat up leather feel but also his Military ID was the only thing  left in it. he was talking about something i was half listening to when he goes into cardiac arrest over the phone. I hear him gasping for air. wheezing as his pulse beats loudly thru his ears. I can hear the blood splash against the closed artery. His lungs stop. Each breathe more shallow than the last. I start crying like a child unable to do anything as i cluth his empty wallet in hand.

Of course i wake up and call him and he says he's fine. My big sister however had her car repossessed that morning and was terrified that she couldn't pick up her boys from daycare. plus it was at work so she was afraid that her employers would think poorly of her.

maybe i was feeling her anxiety.

This morning i had a dream that i was back in school. ( I always get thrown back to elementary school. I'd never attended college . So there is always this fear that when i go back to school, i'll be so far remedial in non art courses i'll be at grade school level which is absolutely untrue....right? )

I'd missed yet another math course that would mean i'd be back in that god forsaken place again. sitting in a chair way too small for me, while children a 1/3 of my age run math loops around me.

It felt like i'd spent years there, missing the same class. Having to take other classes since only take one class is not customary. When i decide again to leave not having passed the courses i needed i find my boyfriend. We're standing in the front stairwell of Public schol 40 where i attended grade school in manhattan, he tells me how he's moved on but not in a i'm breaking up with you way. More of a I had a threesome with the friends we went to NY with  with out you. I was angry, angry in a way that almost seemed comical or juvenile. .I wasn't myself for this one sentence. I was Emily, my little sister. I was wearing her dress, long and dark and cotton with a small shrug to cover my shoulders. I had her slight lisp, i hugged my knees as my boyfriend for a brief moment was someone else. we played these rolls for a second. My anger was temporary as if he's not just told me he cheated on me but that he ate the last cookie in the box. I got up and walked towards a store and he said he needed air and i'd meet him out on the field. I saw what happened in his mind. I see my friend Stacy in a room in the corner with a cast and crutches.... that however had nothing to do with what had happened. A dream in a dream i suppose.

I'm in a toy store or a super department store in the toy section. There are people in the dream i know in the dream only. I do not recognize them. I was talking to a man , light skinned black man with a white shirt dress shoes and slacks. He could have been Trinidadian, or Panamanian. There was a hit of something other than just black in his face i couldn't recognize. He talked on and on about old gaming systems and thought it would be a good idea to put on the power gloves and hold on to the shelf and put his feet up on it, showing the power of the new magnet in it. He didn't count on the neighboring she;f to teeter over, crashing toys and cheap things made in  china on the warehouse floor. I helped him clean up, saw a game Camron would like , bought it then proceeded to go out to the field where i knew Camron was.

It was overcast, you could smell the ozone. A storm was coming and i could hear Camron's voice over the young football players screaming out plays on the lawn. He's talking to a woman who resembles a gingercat. Her hair is blown out like a giant orange sponge. She's wearing thick 70's beige framed glasses and he clothing is so busy i can't tell where her bobbles begin and her fushia flower patterned shirt ends.

" You can feel the storm coming. Was it like this when the tornado passed thru tuscaloosa?"

I start to walk towards him clutching the streetfighter game i found, when suddenly a billboard breaks from its post. I watching horror as the oval Orange sign with Navy letters and white stripes with the word GO on it falls on Camron, knocking him unconscious. The sign had a Vendetta against him as it swirled with Tornado like forces ; scoping his lifeless body off the ground, throwing him into the air. He was throw n up 60 ft, then 100 falling down harder to the earth each time. The final plummet to earth snapped his body at the waist. I run with every bit of speed i can muster. In those times i use to run track i would run so fast i'd step on air not knowing i'd gone over a  hole. the ground couldn't come to my feet fast enough then. i picked up the orange board using it as a stretcher using its unearthly power to keep him alive. his shirt was gone, his legs were gone. But there was no blood. I thought, "Oh no, he'll have to be in a wheelchair. I don't care. I'll learn to drive, I'll learn to fight. Just please please please make it thru this. I can't lose another one...."

I get Camron to someplace safe, a room i assume is mine, but i don't recognize.  room. The bed was high and the walls were dark and a small tv was on. I realized by the time i'd gotten there I only had his head. He was gasping for air his body hundreds of feet away. I ran back out to retrieve it and implored someone to grab his legs. In placing his dismembered body together he came back to life. gasping when there was too much of a gap between his head and shoulders. I fumbled with a cellphone, dialing 911 . i forgot my address when asked by the operator, jumbling the numbers together. The operator thought it was a prank and hung up. At that i started to Cry. I knew help wouldn't get here in time. i couldnt hold his head and legs together by myself. my friend who i'm rather pissed at right now was there. holding his legs in place. But his head kept falling. I didn't want to dream this anymore. I was tired. my limbs felt heavy. I was slipping away from the dream and violently reached out for the phone.

noo... i need to help him...  don't take me yet...

I Woke up crying. grabbing at Camron. relieved it was a dream....i'm crying now i think...i never want to see him hurt like that.// I mean obviously  i can't do much if his body is broken apart. But you know what i mean...

All the Kisses

I had a dream last night that iwas fixing a house. It was beautiful on the outside and only needed a few repaits. From a window that was both outside and inside came a black & white cat. with it its kittens followed. There was a black cat that was the father already nestled in a ball under my arm. And the black n white some came to sit under my oother arm. All the while the same lines to this song by Foregn exchange was playing in my head and i sang the words aloud.

" take my hand. I will stand
to say i belive in love
I believe. in. love "
 as if those were the only words ever to be said. That THAT was the span of vernacular and symbol and expression. It repeated over and over again. and i felt really comfortable.

Strange.

the sky is falling

I had this dream some time ago. Maybe 2 years ago. I was very Homesick.


I was in New York City; little italy chinatown borner near Mott street. I was with Camron. He was excited to be there. Going from store looking at all the bobbles and things the city had to offer.


I lost him from time to time. I'd see glimpses of him. And when i'd catch up he'd be in another place ahead of me. Night came quickly and the stars were eerily visible despite the street lights.

Then the meteor shower started. 1st it looked like shooting stars. The it seemed that the entire Enke comet cluster descended on lower Manhattan. I ducked into a Chinese bakery who's lights had gone out, and watched the asphalt melt into a black splash of destruction.

It went black after then.. i actually go to NY with Camron next month i think. Maybe we'll just avoid lil Italy no? :p

The Lion, The Train & The Blue Buddah

Whenever i sleep on a couch near a window, I have the most peculiar dreams. Perhaps its the sounds of the yelping passerby, and occasional roaring car, that is incorporated into my dreams.

I'm also not feeling very well. When that happens, i tend to have dreams that are a product of my over active immune system, using all its energy to fight infection. This plays out in my mind in the dreamstate.

But last night, was particularly odd. It was just about as odd as the 1st time i slept on that couch. That was when i dreamt i was in a suit of armor fighting a giant lion. It lunged for me, and i peirced it's mouth with my broad sword. I stabbed right thru to the other side of its skull.

I'd Slain the beautiful beast but the problem was i ran it through its own mouth. It clamped down on my arm  and severed it, pulling it from my body in one bite. We both fell to the ground bleeding. Life was leaving us quickly. But instead of  trying to survive, we were looking at one another venomously. We selfishly clung to life, trying to claim victory. But in the end we both perished.  The dream lasted all of 10 seconds. But apprently i'd been asleep for a  half hour.

That was the other day.


Last night my dreams were channel surfing.  They Flickered in  and out, like lightening bug lit screens.
One flash of women made  of all legs riding bicycles. The rest was a blur, until i saw a man with bright blue skin Whip his head around in my direction. He wore a short ,golden,  pointed, hat that resembled a Thailand Buddha or a Khon mask of Prah Nari ( Thailand's version of Vishnu). He came to me quickly opening up his bright yellow eyes. THAT, made me wake up and get off the couch.

" I'm ready for bed i think" i said aloud.

That was enough couch surfing for me.


Then i went to bed and dreamt i was waiting on a train platform on the wrong side. I should have been going downtown, but instead i waiting on the uptown side . It would have been too much trouble to climb thru the sea of overweight lounge chair toting passengers. They lined p their chairs like they were watching some sort of outdoor film. Not seeing a way to transfer over, i plopped my chair down with the masses. Then i saw someone running down from a stairwell hidden to the right. I saw my chance. I ran. Running up the stairs as i'd done many many times. I yelled for them to hold the door , but it was too late. The doors closed and the passengers inside flattened out their lips  in a " sorry" kinda way.

The conductor took pity on me and opened them quickly and i rushed in.

A man with mousy brown curly hair , and big green eyes looked on in some sort of shock.

I never found out what he was looking at. Perhaps he was just one of those guys who always looked surprised...

Wind Bear

After the Tornado, I dreamt of seeing a bear in the clouds. It was just a cloud really. and my  mind made it into a bear. white . Fluffy. harmless. Its mouth opened to show its round comical teeth and the wind distorted it and warped its vapor head like milk in water.

The sky grew dark around it. And it started to suck in all the light and debris and air in the area. Something bellowed out like an ocean wave. It was an inescapable sound. It filled my ears and rattled my teeth. The now blacked cloud kodiak started was being sucked into the vortex he created, widely tumbling down to the earth. It picked up speed and spiraled, turning into a sandy brown. It drilled into the earth wildly. rippng up trees and road signs. 

"Claaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaim." It roared. 

I wondered if that's what that tornado came to do in April. There is lots of blood in this soil. I wondered if it just took it all home.

a dream i can't talk about

 i had a dream this weekend that rattled me so i can't talk about it. sometimes i wonder what's going on in my head. i still get ecos of it . at 1st i laughed at it ... but not ....now i just feel unnatural...perhaps i'll sit and draw it.

part of me wants to forget it.


well for starts a parrot came and took out my eye... one can imagine the rest...

Zombie Dream

I hate zombie dreams. I wake up more tired than i was when i went to sleep.


So i'm in the second earliest apartment i can remember; 3032 saint Nicolas place...A place i know to be a rundown, plaster disaster of an apartment in which my mother did her best to cover up with her over the top design sense. Crystal chandeliers in a place that had terrible  caked plaster swirled low leaning ceilings.

Yes, i was there...

Only it was a beautiful apartment. And the doorways were different with two exits. and the view out of the left side of the house was a little more than just a brick wall with  tiny bathroom windows on the other side. There were rooftop gardens and fountains. It was beautiful in a way some old New York Hotel is. And i lived there.

It was daytime and i was in the bedroom. There were men on the roof next door. Not exactly uncommon. But then i noticed their movements. Jerk. Erratic. Feral.

I look up and see their faces, peeling, molding, seething with hate and clotted blood from gashes endured by the previous monster who transformed them into a ravenous and insatiable cannibal.
and they were coming for me.

One made it thru the double set of doors. You know the ones i mean. There is a door, then a lil cube of a hallway and then another door not even 4 ft away. I suppose it keeps the cold out. In this case it made my " things that i originally thought were pointless but thank god its made that way" list. . I slammed the door and bolted it. And looked around at all the entries and exits looking at weaknesses. He couldn't be contained there longer. The hunger that runs thru those things are not conscious of fatigue or ware on the body. He'll eventually break thru even if it breaks his arm. I knew that

Gotta look for weapons. Gotta find an exit. Gotta find shelter. Gotta do more cardio....

Run.

I'm on the street. Its still daylight. I run into a hospital. It was a powder blue, Tall columns on the side where Trucks would come in . and the front was a long row of  Nutmeg-wood colored doors with glass panels.  I Tell them to close their garage doors. bring down the gates. It was fine until a rush of people came in. They needed to let in the healthy survivors. It was only right. Tho as soon as they did the zombies rushed in after them. I was actually teleporting around places. Not exactly traveling there. any place i thought came to mind but these things were there. But it was only in the reality of this dream. SO i didn't imagine i was in france. I just imagined instead of being in the middle of a slaughter  i was behind it -- then i just was. It was unconscious that it was a lucid dream. That i was controlling everything but i still felt helpless to this monster.

I wonder what i'm afraid of or feel like i can't say.

I find Camron in the hospital  on the left side of the building. Its an empty lobby. no lights but the sun coming in through the high windows. the entire place is blue. Like a bird egg. as if blue were mixed with grey slate and lavender.  we fought. not with one another , against the few zombies that made it in. we used out hands however. no weapons or sticks. which i'm rather surprised at. I usually manifest a machine gun in Zombie dreams. But this lil kung fu flick couldnt last. We're suddenly outside. A sand dune has appeared in front of the hospital where there was once  sidewalk. The street is a boardwalk and people are running out over this landbridge that extends over the river. They can't cross there.

They die midway -- i saw Randall Carlson; Sacred geometry teacher walking with the injured on the water then on the bridge itself. I knew it was the way to go. A little boy on a Bike wandered away from his folks. When his father yelled to him i could see from the horror in his eyes that his dad didn't make it.

Time to move.

Camron and I run across the bridge. The man who was bitten was trying to repair his truck. He lay on the ground under this massive garbage truck like thing. I imagined that compromised position would be his last one.

We made it to the island. There were bars and restaurants and people acting as if there was nothing going on. I saw the police moving in and raiding the area . Arresting people and searching them for injuries.

Lets move for the kitchen , gather supplies and get out of here.

By then i was tired of this dream... tired of running . I'd woken up 4 times already and fell right back into it. I didn't care if i was tired. I had to wake up or i'd keep fighting. Keep running...

The spider and the boy

i had a dream i was with a little boy 

it was dark and we had flashlights to barely light the room

he was blond and had a loudly printed shirt on.

 a big brown spider , bigger than his hand came and hoppped on his side.  i was being pulled. maybe by fear but maybe by something else away from the boy. he reached around and grabbed it but that's all i could remember.

The georgia guidestones

The Stones

North Georgia.
Some ungodly hour
Summer 2010


Camron Wiltshire & I accompanied  Raymond Wiley, and Gary Baddeley, to Elberton Georgia. Gary, is the CEO of the popular conspiracy publisher, Disinformation. They were documenting a segment on the Georgia Guidestones . (check out Disinfo.com Gary is an awesome guy just an FYI)

The Guidestones, are what some refer to, as American stonehenge. a man going by the alias R. C. Christian is the mysterious creator of the guildstones. Leaving instructions for Humanity in various languages. English, Russian, Swahilli etc. Perhaps this ominous epitaph, is what has this 20 ft tall, 240,000 pound granite monument shrouded in secrecy and controversy.
Its capstones are set in an astronomical alignment and has envelope shaped slits to allow sunlight in at a particular solar position. Its something right out of raiders of the lost arc. Even its location in north Georgia is rather unusual. No offense to the people of Elberton, GA but there is nothing out there. Perhaps its the elevation. But its just weird. Which is probably why my dream was so appropriate.

It was Raymond's video debut. He was collecting content for his new guidestone site. It takes real friends to come out and support someone on 2 hours of sleep.

 Architect and Builder, Randall Carlson; of sacred geometry international, had some interesting facts to contribute to the rather ominous block of rock. His insider knowledge revealed that the man who built the guidestones, was more than likely a mason. When one hears Free Masons (a group who often gets a bad rap) secrets, Illuminati and eugenics often com to mind. But in knowing a few masons, ( honestly folks) its become evident that making these blanket assumptions about  Masons is like comparing the Christians of the crusades to every christian. Its just an assumption based on ignorance.

But i digress. On to the dream. See Randall & Raymond's interview here: The Secrets of the Guidestones.( link coming in 24 hours)

Raymond ( left closest to guidstones) Gary on Right.

I'd gone to bed that night around 1am, only to pry my eyes open at around 3 or 4. I don't know how to drive so sleeping in the car was an option...

...but not when you're keeping the driver company.

The sun had already risen when we'd arrived. There was; like i mentioned previously, nothing. The guidestones themselves, were far away from the main town. Even the guidestone museum was about a mile away. There was a wide open field that went on for miles, and a patch of tall grass that lead down a dirtroad i'm almost certain was a one way to Martha Kent's house. ( that's superman's mom for the geek impaired)

They were bigger than i thought.

They were very well crafted. Sturdy. We noticed bits of vandalism. A small chip was taken out of the top, where someone rigged their truck to the thing in an attempt to pull it down.

 Perhaps the " 1. Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature." is the line that does it. Everything else is pretty standard post apocalyptic restore humanity stuff. That instruction would require extermination of nine-tenths of the world's people. This breeds new world order population control suspicions. I'm not one to say either way. I'm leaning more on the "not" side as we don't know the intentions of said R.C Christian.

But i thought they were beautiful.

And with such beautiful scenery came an easy woven tapestry for a dream.

The DREAM

My dream took place exactly where i was. Laying down in front of the guidestones.  On the side where the English transcription was. The only difference being that there was not a single cloud in the sky. Nothing around it. No signs, warning of hidden surveillance.  No brush, or hedges, no trees no powerlines, just miles of grass. And the guidstones. The blades of grass under my head. the sky a blank blue around it with no way to orient myself.


"...this where tornadoes touch down. In places like this in America.  I thought to myself in the dream

" You can see a storm coming from miles away" I begin to speak. I must have been trying to speak in real life, because it was laborious to say the word stooooooooorrrrmms.

And with that,  a tornado swirled up from my lips and started to encircle the guidestones.

 " holy shhhhhhhhh" and another whirlwind forms.

man i need to st------ and a third grey debris filled tornado left my lips.  so i lay in silence at the carousal of tornadoes. Thinking  " Oh God i need to stop saying things with 'S' "

Then, as if they were there all along and my eyes just needed to refocus, 3 nuclear power plants appeared over the horizon behind the guidestones. ( side note - I'd gone to the etowa mounds in Georgia just a few months before - it was my 1st time seeing a nuclear power plant up close. I thought to myself wow... what a disturbing view from this beautiful native American earthwork :\ the reactors looked like 3 of those.)


then an explosion and mushroom cloud from the distant reactors forms.  the fires twirling up into the atmosphere were being sucked up by the surrounding Tornadoes. Dispersing fire and debris and radiation ( I'm assuming) into the sky. It swirled faster and faster until it spiraled out with a flash.






I wake up suddenly.. or at least  i think i do. My sarong  has black and white fish patterns crisscrossing over it  like a fishy hounds tooth but its mainly white. Thru it i see 2 little dogs sniffing around on my right side.  One sits his dark black wet nose on my shoulder and i start to giggle. 


" whose dogs are these" I say aloud


Camron - who is not a dream Camron but one sitting next to me asks,


" what dogs?"


i pull off the sarong and there is nothing there but two bikers  who had just pulled up to the guidestones behind where i slept . I thought it was odd to have dogs on choppers and figured they'd run off to pee in some bushes somewhere. ( The dogs , not the bikers) But the two dogs ( one big and one small) where no where to be found. Camron's taking pictures next to me. I'm still searching for the dogs.


"strange dream i just had", i say to Camron. and i tell him about what i saw.

water tornadoes

snooze...

wtf? no dogs??

the reason i write it today was because Camron reminded me about this in relation to the Fukishima disaster and the whirlpools...3 reactors. This was around Dragon con in Atlanta the summer before. that would make it about 9 months or so.

It could be a coincidence. I also was looking at these pamphlets on signing a petition against Nuclear power before we went up there. We stopped by this town hall meeting, they were talking about the dangers of nuclear power and its wastes...


Say what you will, but i thought i was strange. Strange enough to write. You don't have to believe me. I don't even want to believe it myself sometimes. I'm just glad i told someone else and they reminded ME. I think within each of us there are instinct and foresight that we have like animals who know a storm is coming. What's to say it doesn't come to them in a dream...

Dream Journal#2 The City Lights

I dreamt perhaps last year-- almost 2 years ago now, That i went to New York with my boyfriend Camron. I brought him to Chinatown and kept losing sight of him in stores and shops but i wasn't too worried. 
It was night before long and the stars were really visible above the canopy of street lights and traffic high-beams. 


Stars started falling from the sky. Thousands of them. I ducked into a nearby shop as they crashed into the streets melting the asphalt in seconds. red hot  embers flurried into the air. People were screaming. 
"Where was Camron? "was all i could think. I woke up before long. 

DreamJournal #1 sea of merchants

I usually do a li journal at the end of my regular blogs. Just something to remember the strange dreams of this Ny harvested artist. I figured they deserved their own blog since , lately the duration between the coincidence of my dreams and the happenings of my life have been smaller and smaller. You don't have to believe me readers, and i'll totally understand if you don't think what has happened is real either. I don't believe it half the time - and unless i'd told someone else i'd have thought it just happenstance. But since a lot of them seem to involve the health of others, i figure it only right if they are in fact some sort of foresight... if i can do anything to prevent tragedy then - well i'll just look like a weirdo...i'm sure i've done stranger things.


I don't remember my dreams last night. but the night before was rather peculiar . I was walking with my mother, Elizabeth. And for anyone who knows my mother that is strange. She doesn't walk many places these days. The lithium she was prescribed for her bi-polar disorder caused edema of the lower body. her legs and organs fill up with blood if she's on her feet too long. Turning her skin a strange purple like a bruise. But here she was walking with me. Her voice was the same. Her face as well. Only she wore black. A little hat similar to the one i just purchased with a lil bow and veil on it. A pencil skirt and a blouse. She looked like a well-to-do widow. We were on the bustling streets of manhattan's 34th street.  Thousands of Asian Merchants were selling their wares on the streets. A sea of people. This might have something to do with the earthquake hitting japan. My hopes and thoughts are heavy on the japanese people right now so that is understandable. But what was strange about it was the only thing they'd say to me was " Did you kill the mockingbird?" -- merchant after merchant. Like it was a joke. When i answered no they turned away as if i told them i was only looking and not interested in buying. 


A woman walks out into the street at 34th and broadway near the victoria secret and nearly walks in front of a bus. I thought it was my little sister for a moment but she seemed to disappear in the crowd.
traffic streams on even tho there is a street fair. They seemed to disappear with the tide of the oncoming traffic. A tall japanese woman asked me again while the traffic roared past her tent. " Did you kill the mocking bird? in almost a chuckle. 


I say to her " Its funny. i think i heard one the other day" recalling a memory in my waking life that i'm not sure i ever really had. I never read the book. I'm not sure i want to. i think to myself.


Then she too turns away and disappears in the streaming traffic.






~end~